but i don't get to choose who she wants to be with. maybe i'm just not good enough, idk. but God it hurts so much. everytime i think about it i feel like getting out of this horrible and cruel place.
day by day, i see her happier with her new friends. and i just don't have the power to stop her, i can't. in a way, seeing her happy makes me so happy. but Allahu, knowing that she is not happy with me cuts me too deep. almost like the wound would never heal.
when i saw her the other day, she was so happy. and i felt so neglected. i weeped silently beside her.
"Oh Allah, help me. Why are You taking the person I love away from me? one by onee. oh Allah I can't get through this, help me. Protect my heart. Please ya Allah, I don't want to get through this again"
I kept repeating the same thing in my head, in my heart. No other words could describe how destructed I felt. I keep the teddy bear and chocolates she gave me, too special to eat.
I love you, my bestfriend. You're one of the best things that have ever happened to me. You'll remain to be my sister at heart, even if we have to say goodbye to each other. I will always love you, will always pray for you.
be happy, my friend.
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